Jeff's Family.

By Paul D Robertson

oils, 85x 62 cms.

This piece is a commission that I got, somkehow, while I was in hospital in 2004. I don't re4ally remember how. I was in hospital with The Despair. Sometimes, there is little choice but to go there, though it does gall me so. I can't work very much - I am away from my computer of course which bites.

Jeff - I am afraid I don't know the names of his wife and two girls - was incredibly cool and accomodating while I was working on this and very understanding that I was sick. I think I finihsed it pretty quickly for him, but I don't really remember.

While in hospital I had ECT. This means shock treatment. It is pretty hardcore, and yes, they still do it. It works. The price is that you lose memory -I think about three months of 2004 is just not in my memory. At all.

Memory loss is such a strange thing. You know that you were there - you were cognizant and awake, you were yourself. But you cannot remember the experiences that you had or the way you behaved. It is like you have been overtaken by someone or something else, some marionette version of yourself who has taken hold of your life and suddenly returned it to you, restored it, without any indication if what it has been doing with you. The only thing you have is the tales of what has happened from the people that you know.

And that - that is all.